No. of jobs applied for since start of 1-year challenge: 1
No. of responses: 0
No. of jobs applied for since start of 2013: 9
No. of responses: 2 (both automated, nothing subsequently)
Celebration! I received a rejection! A response! An acknowledgment of my existence! My slightly slutty name has not, it seems, caused all my applications to go straight into everyone’s junk mail. It was a concern. Thank goodness I’m being ignored on merit.
But now, behold, proof and acknowledgment of my existence in the harsh, jobless universe:
Thank you for your application. We regret to inform you that we will not be taking your application any further. We had a huge volume of applications and we only have two eyes each. As a result, your application was not ‘read’, in the traditional sense of the word. We are sure it could have been amazing. However, our research department has pulled together some statistics to suggest it probably wasn’t.
We are sorry to discontinue your application without an interview, or reading it. We are sure you are one of many worthy candidates who have, unfortunately, had to be eliminated from the recruitment process. But we’ll get over it. Particularly as someone has brought a box of Krispy Kremes in this afternoon. In fact we’ve forgotten about you already if we’re honest. You are, in fact, imagining this response. This is actually a junk email, bafflingly titled “Oprah Winfrey weight loss” and you’ve caused no end of spam just by opening it.
Thank you for your interest.
Every Job You’ve Applied For This Year”
[NB Mild hallucination brought on by stress of unemployment, lack of sleep and the imagination of a bored 7-year-old in the 1890s can have positive effects. Why not have your own hallucination?]