On The Daily Mash: Young people just going to change pension age back later

In yet another brilliant article, The Daily Mash points out why the youth of today aren’t as screwed as the media insists we are – because babyboomers won’t always be in charge to throw everything in their wrinkly favour.

YOUNG people have announced plans to lower the pension age by several decades once they’re in charge.

Will overpower a 78-year-old George Osborne

Nail artist Emma Bradford, aged 19, said: “I have to retire at 70 to pay for my granny to retire at 62? Yeah, sounds perfectly fair to me.

“Or here’s another plan: how about we wait until all the government are dead, then just switch it back?”

22-year-old trainee lawyer Tom Logan said: “This government telling us what’s going to be happening in 2063 is like a mayfly making big plans for next month.

“So if they’re in power until 2020 at the latest, and me and my mates get into government in 2040, that still gives us what, 20 years to change that back?

“Pretty sure we’ll manage it. It’ll be our second priority after legalising euthanasia.”

Treasury Secretary Danny Alexander said: “We cannot ignore the deficit, so the only responsible thing to do is to leave all our unpaid bills for young people who can’t get jobs.

“There is a slight risk that, when they’ve got all the money and power, the younger generation may act in their own selfish interest.

“But our society holds the elderly in such esteem that I think we can discount that.”

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